How to Involve Older Siblings in a Home Birth Experience

Welcoming a new baby is a transformative event—not only for the birthing parent but for the whole family. If you’re planning a home birth, one unique benefit is the opportunity to involve older siblings in the experience in a meaningful, respectful, and age-appropriate way. At Attuned Midwifery Service, we believe that birth is a family-centered event, and with thoughtful preparation, children can witness or be part of this moment with awe and understanding. Involving them helps ease the transition to their new role and creates powerful family memories that last a lifetime.

Here’s how you can prepare your older children and include them in your home birth journey.

💬 1. Talk About Birth Early and Often

Start the conversation about birth early in your pregnancy. Use age-appropriate language to describe how babies grow, how they’re born, and what the birth might look and sound like.

• Books about birth can be great tools. Choose ones that show real families and home births.

• Be honest but gentle: explain that birth is hard work, and sometimes mom may make loud sounds or need quiet.

• Encourage questions and answer them calmly—even the unexpected ones.

This helps normalize the process and reduces fear of the unknown.

🛠️ 2. Give Them a Role

Kids love to feel included and helpful. Depending on their age and personality, they can:

• Bring you water or snacks during labor

• Rub your back or hold your hand if they’re interested

• Announce the baby’s sex or name if it’s a surprise

• Cut the cord (if you're comfortable with that and your midwife agrees)

• Help fetch towels, blankets, or birth supplies

For younger children, even a "job" like drawing a welcome picture for the baby or helping set up the birth space can foster excitement and a sense of importance.

📺 3. Use Videos or Practice Scenarios

Watch gentle home birth videos together so they know what to expect. These can show the birthing parent making noise, midwives calmly moving around the room, and babies arriving in a peaceful setting.

You can also role-play a birth scenario using dolls or stuffed animals to walk through what might happen. This can be especially helpful for toddlers and preschoolers who learn through play.

🧸 4. Plan Support for the Sibling

One of the most important pieces of sibling involvement is making sure they’re supported. Designate a trusted adult—a partner, friend, grandparent, or even a sibling doula—whose only role is to care for your child during labor.

That person can:

• Explain what's happening in real time

• Take them out of the room if they need a break

• Answer questions or provide comfort

• Help them feel secure if the labor becomes intense

Let your child know it’s totally okay to leave the room if they need to. Some children prefer to come in just after the baby is born, and that’s a beautiful moment too.

🛏️ 5. Set Up a Calm, Kid-Friendly Space

Make sure your home birth environment is welcoming to your older child:

• Have snacks, drinks, and quiet activities (like books, coloring, or puzzles) nearby

• Create a cozy spot with pillows or blankets where they can watch, nap, or play

• Keep the atmosphere peaceful and reassuring—soft lighting and calm voices help kids feel at ease

Remember, kids are often very intuitive. If they sense that you are calm and supported, they usually respond with calm curiosity—even in intense moments.

🤱 6. Involve Them After Baby Arrives

If your child steps out during the birth, invite them back in to meet their new sibling soon after. They can:

• Snuggle with you and the baby

• Help with the first diaper or outfit

• Join in singing a song or telling the baby their name

• Be part of the first family photo

This helps reinforce that they are still a valued and loved part of the family, even with all the attention on the new baby.

💛 Final Thoughts

Having older siblings present at a home birth can be a deeply bonding experience that helps them feel included, respected, and emotionally connected to the process of welcoming a new baby. Every child is different—some are curious and engaged, others prefer to observe quietly or check in afterward. There’s no "right" way for them to participate. At Attuned Midwifery Service, we support you in creating a birth plan that includes the whole family. We’re happy to talk through options, provide age-appropriate resources, and help prepare everyone for this powerful transition.